Facts of Life

1. Regular naps prevent old age… especially if you take them while
driving.
2. Having one child makes you a parent; having two makes you a
referee.
3. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right
and the other is the husband!
4. They said we should all pay our tax with a
smile. I tried - but they wanted cash.
5. A child’s greatest period of growth
is the month after you’ve purchased new school uniforms.
6. Don’t feel bad. A
lot of people have no talent.
7. Don’t marry the person you want to live
with, marry the one you cannot live without… but whatever you do, you’ll regret
it later.
8. You can’t buy love . . but you pay heavily for it.
9. True
friends stab you in the front.
10. Forgiveness is giving up my right to hate
you for hurting me.
11. Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not
vote.
12. Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get
tired.
13. My wife and I always compromise. I admit I’m wrong and she agrees
with me.
14. Those who can’t laugh at themselves leave the job to
others.
15. Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.
16. It doesn’t matter how
often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.
17. They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to
speak.
18. Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done
it for you.
19. Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk
because they have to say something.
20. Real friends are the ones who survive
transitions between address books.